Kinda funny, isn't it, how paralax can totally change what's being observed, right?  These morans are still yammering on and on about how Obama flipped off Senator Clinton.

2)  99 Problems and a Bitch Ain't One

You've heard this one, I'm sure.  Supposedly the Obama campaign played this song at one of their rallies, perhaps after a victory.

NOPE.  http://www.blueoregon.com/2008/02/debunk ing-clint.html

3)  The "Whitey" Tape

I'm still waiting for this one.

4)  Obama's not really an American citizen.

Yep.  His birth certificate is like totally fake.  Nevermind having an American mother would, you know, make him a citizen anyway.  Nope.  He's lying.  Him and those filthy Kossacks.

5)  Obama's a Muslim/crypto-Muslim/liberation theology Christian/Evangelical nut/Marxist/crypto-Marxist/Republican.

I'm actually having a hard time keeping up with these.

6)  Obama can't win white voters, unless they "sip lattes."

Well, the caucuses, primaries, and for that matter recent polls would disagree.  Obviously reality in the tank for Obama.

7)  Obama can't win female voters, unless they're black or young.

Apparently African American and younger women are intrinsically less important than other women.  Maybe they just don't know any better.  I'm not sure about that one.  Maybe according to the PUMAs they just aren't parts of the group that the women's liberation movement, those second-wave feminists, were trying to protect.

8)  You can't win the presidency without (insert random-ass hillbilly state here) because nobody has since (insert pre-Cambrian era date here).

Hey, I'm all for contesting every state we possibly can.  I've got kin and friends in most of those "hillbilly" states, as I called them.  They're not bad people, not even in the aggregate.  However, these sorts of statistics are meaningless.  First of all, they assume that you can only win in one of the ways someone else already did.  Secondly, well, these stats only really hold up until they don't.  Besides, Barack Obama doesn't have a problem with "working Whites" (whatever the hell that means).  Appalachia may have a problem with Obama, though.

9)  You Obama supporters are doing (insert childish, angry, or frankly totally common and decent behavior here) and that's not good for Unity!!!one!111!eleven!

Guys and gals, let me assure you that whatever sins I may have committed you have trebled, at least.  If somebody lunges at me with a sharp letter-opener, I'm not going to lose points for not trying to shake his hand.

10)  We're lifelong Democrats!!!

Yep, you were right up until you went completely batshit insane and decided that YOUR hurt feelings are more important than the lives of our soldiers, Iraqi and Afghani civilians, education, women's rights, the budget, stemcell research, energy research, and everything else.

Barack Obama didn't flip off Hillary Clinton.  I, on the other hand, gladly flip off you PUMAs.  My best friend was an ardent supporter of Senator Clinton.  He is still my best friend.  He cares too much about this country, it's people, and it's place in the world to let some motherfucking flamefest on the internet affect his vote.

He's an adult.  My mother's an adult.  With the exception of one person I know in real life, every single Clinton supporter I know is an adult about this.  They're voting for Obama.  Not because they have to, or because I told them to, but because they want to.

It's your vote.  You can vote for Senator Clinton, or Senator McCain.  You can vote for the Easter Bunny if you feel like it.  I respect your right to vote for whomever, and however, you choose.  I also respect (which is not the same thing as "like") Senator Clinton.  She does good work, and I'm glad she's there, fighting for all of us.

Vote however you like.  Just stop telling us about it.  I do not care.  From this point forward if I see anything resembling a PUMA flame I am simply not going to respond to it.  You people have ceased to exist in my world, and I highly doubt that anything you ever do will be significant enough to garner my attention.

Please excuse me.  I, and the 17,999,850 real Clinton supporters from the primaries are off to win the election with the rest of the Democrats.

Toodles!